Welcome to my Thursday series “The truth is…” I decided to share my candid thoughts about how I’m really feeling with you, about various topics on Thursdays.. just because.. you don’t like it?
Now, this might not be inspirational, or motivating like some of my other posts are… sometimes… and no, I will not try to make you feel good about yourself, here in this space. And no one, I mean no one is exempt lol Don’t look for it. Lower your expectations and accept this as my truth.
Shall we proceed?
The truth is…
Relationships are hard work. But you knew that already? Or did you think you knew? Because honey let me teeeelllll you! Back in the day (and since I’m still young, please know that back in the day is actually high school) we would get in a relationship, and learn the basics like:
· Favorite color
· How many siblings the person has
· Where they live… etc
After we’ve learned that and talked on the phone for a few days/weeks you couldn’t tell us nothing. I mean the relationship was the strongest relationship eeevvva(in my Cardi B voice).
I mean, I really only had a few relationships in high school and only one of those I considered to be legit.
And boy was I wrong… but lets save that story for another day.
See if there’s anything my current relationship has taught me, it is that I previously had no idea what it really took to be in a relationship… I mean I learned more about relationships between the ages of 19-now.
What it takes to make a relationship work is more than I ever really put thought into. Before, the title, and idea of it was nice but now it’s like sooooooo much more to consider when you say that’s “my boyfriend” or “we’re in a relationship”.
To be in a successful relationship you must learn to balance your wants/needs with another persons wants/needs. There will be times where you will need to put that other persons wants/needs before your own.
The main thing is compromise.
Let’s be honest…
That in itself is a headache. I mean, constantly having to decide… “will I continue to push for what I want, or will I see the other person’s point of view”. And don’t give me all that “if you truly love a person” crap. It’s still hard! Even when you love them.
It’s hard to choose the latter and truth is sometimes I plain… JUST. DON’T. WANT. TO! Sometimes I just want things to go the way I want them to go. I don’t want to hear any other side.. I don’t want to sleep on it. I want what I want, and I want it now!
…and that gets me nowhere lol
My Man-Friend (because boyfriend sounds childish lol ) and I often get compliments from our single friends about how much they love and admire our relationship and how far we’ve come and blah blah blah lol
And that’s all fine and dandy but they don’t see the hard work.
They don’t see the behind the scenes two people being forced to grow in moments of disagreements and/or see us being stretched as we grow into our true selves.
Let me say that again… they don’t see the behind the scenes HARD WORK!
They don’t see when I’m getting on his nerves or when he’s working mine.
Lets be honest we’re TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE! Who look at things from two different perspectives. Sometimes we see things the same, sometimes we don’t.
Did I mention we both can be stubborn? (Him more than me tho lol)
I mean we’re both still leaning what works for us(yes, even after three years) , learning each day how to communicate better, how to make the most of our time together.
Did I mention we’re long distance…
The Truth Is… the distance is what DOESN’T always work for us..
Meet me here next week for my truth about long distance relationships…