Finally! A new series!!
Ladies, Gents, and BRIGGade! Welcome to the Queen Connection Series! It’s important to me to show you some of my peers, that are out here DOING THE DAG ON THANG! Some of these women are my friends, some of them associates and some of them I don’t know well at all but their story is important.
See.. I see it like this, Every person’s struggle is needed to assist the next person or in this case, the next woman with what they may be going through. As a mother, I understand that it is important that I see any difficult time as a lesson, to press through. We all may be in different stages in life but at some point or another, we have all struggled with self-love. It is my hope that in this series whether you’re single, married, dating, a mother, a sister, a friend or etc… that you will meet someone who inspires you. Someone who maybe you can see a little of yourself in, someone that can motivate you with their story and encourage you to keep pushing!
This week our Focus is on this Queen:
Here’s a little bit of info about Chaun in her words, plus our conversation about who Chaun really is:
“Who is Chaun? I am a mom who is trying to hold on to my sense of self. It’s hard not to get consumed with your kids or being a mom. My job had already taken over and I felt the best thing I could show my child was self-love. Since self-love is a big part of what I want to teach Boo, I figured I would show her how you can chase your dreams and still be a full-time QA Scientist. I was able to create iamchaun.com to cater to my creative side to help with balancing my life and remember who I AM outside of being a mom, scientist, or friend. I am just, Chaun. I want other moms and even dads to feel the same way, that you are the base and its ok to focus on you without worrying about all the other titles you have.”
Me: Things change all around when you become a mother, How has motherhood changed you?
Chaun: Oh gosh let me think because there are so many things, but I would say the biggest thing would be becoming more self-aware and exercising patience. I knew I didn’t want my issues to be passed on to my daughter, so I started to slowly think about everything that has affected my life whether it was positive or negative, so I started going to therapy. It has helped a lot and I feel myself growing every day.
Me: Before having my son I read that you lose friends when you become a mother, Did you see a change in your “friends” once you had your daughter? If so how did you cope with it?
Chaun: I never considered myself a “friend” girl so I didn’t really feel that I had any people leave me, but what I did notice was my response to the girls that I did hang out with. I had become that person who projected, I thought that no one wanted to hang around the girl with a child since my priorities had changed. I no longer wanted to get drunk and go to the club, so I was always sober. I no longer wanted to talk about relationship issues, so I really didn’t have much to listen to. I JUST NO LONGER WANTED TO…I felt like there were bigger issues than the things I use to talk about or that I was always talking about my child, which no single person wants to hear about right?, so I just removed myself. I declined offers to go out until I got to the point of learning that I need a life outside of my child
Me: When I was growing up, there weren’t many hugs or I love you’s, and I know that has shaped how I give and receive love to this day. How did the way you grew up affect your self-love? (Were your parent’s very loving and supportive?)
Chaun: I didn’t grow up with my parents actively in my life, so that has affected me drastically even with my loving grandmother by my side and doing her best. Without my parents, I grew up thinking I didn’t deserve love and that family only loved me because my parents didn’t.
Chaun: I was dying, well at least that is what it felt like. My life was full of me just being content, so once I had my daughter I said this was enough. I wanted her to know that you choose happiness, that you just don’t work to make lots of money and you just don’t stay with a guy because he looks good on paper.
My life needed to change in order for me to break family cycles and not have Boo think that this is what life is supposed to be.
Me: One day I woke up and decided it was time to grow closer to God, in doing so I grew closer to myself. Self-Love is a revolving door for me. It’s something I am constantly working at. Sometimes loving yourself is hard and ugly. What advice would you offer other women in regards to them learning to love themselves? where do they start?
Chaun: Take a look at your life and say is this something I would want to tell people about 5 years from now or even tomorrow? if not you have to go about changing it. A good place to start with change, is taking a look at your family history/cycles because it will help you get an understanding of who you are. It’s a slow process and don’t feel that you should rush it and also remember that this isn’t a journey that everyone will go with you on, so leave their asses behind if you have to.
Me: Not sure if you’re a single mother, but if so Do you have any advice for single mothers? Or Moms in general about raising a daughter? or Co-Parenting?
Chaun: Lol, it’s funny you ask about advice for raising a daughter because I haven’t a clue what to do with mine. I am sure I will be fine, but I wasn’t that woman who craved having a daughter because all I could imagine was what I went through with my first love, how moody I am, and my body image. God sure showed my ass, so I don’t have any advice. I am just winging it. This is probably more of a lesson for me than it will be for her. Having a girl has truly grounded me.
Me: Balance is something I’m still learning, I’m not quite sure if I will ever master it. I’m pretty sure other women feel the same. How have you learned to keep your balance between all the different hats(scientist, mother, sister, friend) that you wear?
Chaun: I don’t keep my balance at all and I am really trying not to stress about it as much. Even though I am not keeping my balance I try to make sure that most of me goes to my daughter. I am Chaun first, a mother second, and the rest follows.
ME: I’ve peeped your fashion and let me start by saying honey you are woooorrrking it! I’ve followed your blog and of course, IG and Facebook and, a part of me wishes I was half as stylish as you are! lol, Trust me when I say I’m the mom who puts as little effort as possible into my wardrobe (admittedly I need to do better lol). Have you always had a love for fashion?
Chaun: Well, thank you and yes I have always had a love for fashion. When I was in elementary school I use to design/sketch *no I can’t draw* with another friend, I had one of those three prong binders that I use to carry around everywhere and one day I lost it, so I just moved on to something else. In high school, I didn’t really put much effort into fashion because it was all about being trendy, so I did just that. Then college came around and I just fell in love with it, it was something I just did ya know. I didn’t have the best clothes but I wanted to always make sure that they fit correctly, so I would feel comfortable in them. You look good, you feel good.
ME: I don’t know about you but there are times where I have to sit myself down and regroup because I feel like I’m losing it, and by it I mean myself. In times where you find that you’re losing yourself, how do you pull yourself back in?
Chaun: Reading or taking a shower usually helps keep me grounded when I am losing myself because I like to remove myself from that feeling for awhile well I get my thoughts together. Once my thoughts are together I usually like to talk it through with someone. When that conversation is done, I try my best to let it go. What’s done is done, but taking every situation as a learning lesson.
ME: On the outside looking in, you seem to be a very confident woman, have you always been that way? or is your confidence level something you achieved during your self-love journey?
Chaun: Baaa, I am not confident in a lot of ways, it really just depends on the day. I am the most confident in my ability to style and create. For all the other areas that I am coming up short in, I realize that I need to put more energy into fixing the perception that I have towards those broken areas
Me: As a mother of two, I know how crazy busy a schedule can be, working full time, taking care of the kids, and trying to maintain a relationship. *wipes forehead* Do you have any love advice to share?
Chaun: MMMM, my love advice would make sure your relationship is defined. You shouldn’t have to guess that someone is your partner because it should be a clear conversation that you guys are in relationships and these are the expectations.
Me: How long did it take you to actually create your blog? Is blogging something you’ve always wanted to do?
Chaun: It took me forever and a day to finally start my blog because I didn’t know how I wanted to display my creativity since I am not a writer. I didn’t and currently, don’t want iamchaun.com to be like anything else, I love visuals and styling so that’s my main focus with this blog. By allowing people to see that I am creating and pursuing my passion, I hope they see that I am not just stuck in a rut of working and being a mom, that you should find time for yourself and have a clear definition of who you are.
I never really thought about blogging in a serious manner other than a way to display who I am. It is a great outlet for that and it allows to me to practice consistency and discipline myself a little more because I know the audience I want to capture are looking for a regular post.
Me: What is the one thing you want people to take from your blog?
Chaun: Don’t let anyone or anything else define you.
I don’t know about you, but Chaun has blessed my whole life. I love seeing other women’s perspective. Knowing that I am not alone in this journey of breaking generational curses, learning to love me and being the best mommy that I can, gives me life!
Please be sure to keep up with Chaun’s creative slay, and all her BLACK GIRL MAGIC here. You can also find her on IG as @IAM_CHAUN!
It has been a pleasure connecting with this QUEEN!
Until next week ✌🏽