This week… this queen and I go back…. like four flatsssssssssssssss.
I mean I’ve had the pleasure of not only watching this queen grow but I’ve grown along side her. Mannn if I could I would tell you guys of all the things that we’ve gotten into…all the times we’ve “rolled out” and “pulled up” lol that was BC (yes before Christ lol) Never the less…. I hope you enjoy this Queen’s story!
Auspicious, animated, and Awesome are just a few adjectives I use to described myself; Allegra! Now that’s a lot of A! (Shameless Instagram plug: @alotof_a – Ha! Get it?!). Now that I have your tongue in A-twist, let me share a little bit about myself. As a woman, I have juggled many hats. However, some hats I took off and found it difficult to put back on again due to the rapid head growth! (My head HAD to have grown to the size of Jimmy Neutron’s with all that I was attempting and wanting to do!) In 2014, I started my graduate school program at NC State University! I was so ecstatic about getting accepted WHILE working full time! However, my life felt like it was spinning out of control; AND copying and pasting had finally failed me! I got caught plagiarizing; failed the class and eventually I dropped out of the program. YES! I was a graduate School drop out! Sue ME! However, after having a talk with God; he reminded me that HE comes first and juggling hats become easy when he becomes Alpha over your life. After coming to that revelation, I am set to graduate with my masters from North Carolina A&T University in December, work a full-time job as an educator, coach track & volleyball, own my Soy Candle Business (Instagram: Alabasterbox_1), started a book club called #WCW (Words Create Wisdom) and started a new relationship; all while keeping God first!
(Tru Crew pictured above)
ME: Allegra before there was a flossy Posse, there was the Tru Crew… lol we go way back…One of the things that brought us together as friends, was one of the biggest things we had to get over… Heartbreak from our first love…. How has your mindset changed about love since then?
Allegra: WOW! That was ten years ago! Good Times! I now understand love is our quality to love others. However, we must learn to love ourselves first before we can love others around us. I am in the process of falling in love with myself and appreciating every moment in life.
ME: You’re a well-accomplished woman, you’re currently working full time, finishing your masters, running a business and a book club… How do you keep your balance? What advice would you offer other women in regards to wearing many hats? And not just wearing them but balancing wearing them well?
Allegra: As I am falling in love with myself, I am also learning how to balance my life. Once you start to develop self-love; your behavior in life becomes intentional. I practice a daily ritual. I call it the “Take Notice Prayer”. Every day (while I’m driving to work in the mornings) I take five minutes in prayer noticing how blessed I am for such a time to be alive. I speak positive blessing over my life and friends/family. As women of many hats, we must find the time to self-reflect. Whether it’s through speaking positive, writing, yoga, or meditation. Give your mind and soul five minutes of peace and positive thinking.
Author Mallika Chopra stated, “Self-knowing awareness helps you understand your own life and your purpose but also helps you relate more compassionately with others”. Once we become secure within ourselves we can also spill over into other people’s lives in a positive way.
ME: You’re an only child, as your friend I see how this has shaped you but how do you feel that’s played a role in who you are? And who you desire to be?
Allegra: As an only child growing up; it was rough. Rough in the sense of not having someone to play with. However, I had plenty of cousins to fill that void. As an only child, I became very independent and self- sufficient. I started working at the age of 17. I always kept two jobs! My parents instilled in me; hard work makes dreams a reality. Owning a home at the age of 26. Owning two cars today; is all a reflection of God’s favor and him giving me the power to work hard.
ME: As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been rooted in God. You were raised in church… How has being raised in the church shaped your thought process? Have you ever lost your faith at any point? How did you recover?
Allegra: Being raised in a church has pros and cons. You see all different points of “religion”. However, I had to experience God for myself in order to really believe how real God is. For example, 2014 was a rough year for me. I was in a car accident. I had graduated from college and I was not working in my field. I really disliked the job I had at the time as a phlebotomist. I lived with my parents. I did not have the financial means to move and live on my own. My faith was on empty. However, one Sunday my pastor (Edward Kirkpatrick) was preaching about faith. Believing miracles can happen while using faith. However, believing and meditating on God’s word is how you create faith. The sermon ignited a little something in me.
So, I challenged myself. Habakkuk 2:2 states, “Write down the vision and engrave it plainly on tablets; so that the one who reads it will run” (AMP). I went home and wrote down all the things I desired. I meditated on this ONE scripture for two months; during the two months, I researched more about the Word of God and I discovered Jesus created 36 miracles in the New Testament. Therefore, I committed to giving an extra $36 (In offering) a month for God to create a miracle. (Keep in mind, I was not making enough money to comfortably give an extra $36 a month). I wrote down everything that I wanted to happen within a certain time frame. After three months of meditating on Habakkuk 2:2 and giving an extra $36 a month; I received EVERY SINGLE THING I WROTE DOWN! The exact amount of money I wanted to make by the end of the year; I was making. I wanted to pay my car off; Somehow, I was able to pay my car off, I desired to attend graduate school. I was accepted into a graduate program; it was completely FREE. Lastly, I started working my dream job. God made a miracle happen once I stepped out on faith. My faith has never been the same.
ME: Allegra, as you know self-love is a big thing… Many women go through phases where they lose themselves or have yet to find their inner queen that has always been there… what is your advice for these women? How did you get to a place where you loved yourself completely?
Allegra: Loving yourself may not seem easy at first. However, no one will love you; if you don’t learn to love yourself. Write a letter to LOVE. Establish who is love and what is love. Write down how you want love to treat you and how you would treat love. After you establish those things. Do things that will make you fall in love with yourself. Write yourself love letters, give yourself a hug, take “thank you walks”, (walking and thank God for all he has done), do something out of your comfort zone (go to a play by yourself). I went to the movies by myself, mini concerts by myself, dinner by myself. I became tired of myself! HA!
ME: There was a short period of time where I was single… and by short, I mean at least 4 years between my last relationship and my current one… you were single for a while, until recently… how did being single affect your ability to connect with someone? What did you learn about yourself during your single season? Did you feel you spent enough time learn yourself during this period?
Allegra: Being single for a while allowed me to discover myself a little more. I learned what I liked in a male and what I did not like. Therefore, I was able to make a conscious decision on who I allowed into my life. However, while you are in a relationship there is a new self-discovery that occurs. I’m discovering many things about myself that I could not have discovered being single. How to handle disagreements? or how do I include someone else in my life? Therefore, I am continually learning about myself.
ME: What advice would you give women who are currently single and wishing to find Mr. Right? How can they take full advantage of their single season?
Allegra: During the single season, be honest with yourself. While courting collects vital information that fits into your category of “Mr. Right”. Don’t settle. Be patient in knowing God is working. Don’t live by social media. It may seem as if everyone is getting married on Facebook. It’s ok to deactivate your account for a while. Or understand your time is coming. However, be happy others in a relationship; in knowing God can do that for me too!
ME: I imagine that getting the courage to start a business can be hard to come by, you recently launched Alabaster Box of soy candles and oils… how did you come about starting this business? What has been the hardest part? What advice would you give women who are sitting on their business ideas? Where’s the best place for them to start?
Allegra: I LOVE smell goods! Oils, perfumes, and lotion; you name it! Honestly, I was tired of spending $20 on Yankee Candles. Also, after you burn Yankee candles for a while; they start to burn black smoke. Which made me research Yankee Candle ingredients. Yankee candles contain paraffin wax. Paraffin wax contains toxins that leave a residue around the inside of the candle containers, on the wall and the ventilation system of your home. Therefore, your lungs can be affected. (granted I may burn my Yankee Candles every now and then; because I paid money for them) However, I started doing some research on oils and candles and discovered I could do it myself in a healthier way. I discovered Soy candles. I started giving away candles, asking families members to try them. One family member enjoyed her body oils and candle so much so, that she stated; “You should start selling these”. I thought why not?
Honestly, I am still learning and growing as a business owner. I have failed many times at selling the product and getting the product just right. The best place to start is to write everything down. Speak your ideas to well trusted friends. Find others who are a business owner and talk with them about how to get started. Lastly, step out on faith.
Well there you have it! A little bit about Queen Allegra! If there’s anything you can take from her story it should be learning and loving yourself is the most important task! Write out your dreams and step out on faith!
Be sure to find Allegra on IG as @Alotof_A and follow her business at @Albaster_box1 for Soy candles, oils and lip balm! You can even book her for your wedding!
Until next week! ✌🏽