Life has a funny way of connecting you to people…I’ve known this Queen since High School but I didn’t really get to know who she was as a person until my freshman year and her sophomore year in college.
She’s always been different. Lol not sure what else I could say. Lol, I wasn’t sure how we became friends it just kinda happened. Lol Looking back on things, I see why God brought us together. There were times when our friendship was tested and she would send me a message and say that she wasn’t going to stop being my friend because she needed me…. Lol ok, this bish cray…. Lol Nah in hindsight… I totally get what she meant…. You need people for certain things in life and God was using me to get her through some tough things.
Meet Queen Chelz:
My name is Chelsea and I’m a queen, a business owner (ToddFash), a lover, a friend and more. I am creative and because I am creative I have many talents and because I have many talents I’ve adapted to constantly dabbling into something new before I finish the last.
In 2007, I was diagnosed with depression and was so offended I stopped going to my sessions. When I turned 28 I thought I had it all figured out. I had the business going, I was good financially, I moved into my own apartment and received a new job opportunity. Then I hit 29, that right before 30 mark and started thinking “I’m not married and I don’t have kids yet”, I was also taking care of my sick mom, I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life anymore and to top it off I found out I wasn’t ovulating and they thought I couldn’t have kids. That’s when depression really hit. I wasn’t happy with myself or my life anymore. I remember thinking I wish God would just come do his thing but I was never suicidal.
My sister was first to notice that every time she would come around I’d cry in her car but she would never know why until she took me to pick up my prescription with the bottle reading “for depression” and I cried and told her. I’d dodge my friends so they wouldn’t notice and I kept in the dark even while sitting right beside my friend Helen in her car before Bible study. I felt like nobody could understand the feelings I felt in my heart and mind and I didn’t want to tell her. “Chelsea, what’s wrong” in her firm “I’m not letting you out until you tell me” tone but I still managed to dance around what was REALLY wrong long enough to make it through service and get back home to cry in the shower alone with no interruptions. I knew I couldn’t depend on those pills because I myself felt like I was supposed to depend on God but it seemed nothing was working. I was so different. I’d sit at work and choke back tears until I couldn’t hold it anymore and run to the bathroom only to run into my supervisor. I was embarrassed. I knew she could see my feet in the stall with my back against the wall and hear my sniffles as I cried but I wasn’t going to tell her what was wrong. Next day I went back to the doctor for a stronger dose of meds in hopes that something would help but it didn’t. A couple weeks passed and Helen invited me to this healing service. She knew I wasn’t myself but more importantly she knew who I needed to depend on.
I loved the church and the pastor, I trusted him so I attended and I went up for prayer of leaning from depression. I was so nervous and embarrassed so I told Allegra who told me not to be embarrassed and that she would go first to make me feel comfortable. So I stepped up and as he prayed, I cried, I lifted my hands and when he was finished I smiled because I had faith in what God was going to do and then as he looked at me I began to cry because I could literally feel the release of depression. I wasn’t bound. I never felt that feeling before. The next day I attended the healing service and he asked how I felt. I told him I felt great! I felt no feelings of depression. I felt so different. I never thought I’d get through it but I did! I stopped taking my meds and my heart felt lighter and til this day I still remain with a light heart and less burden. No bouts of depression, no meds, successful business, finances are in tact, I CAN HAVE BABIESSS, still in my own place, smiling more and STILL a QUEEN!
ME: Depression is a serious thing. More people than we think deal with depression on a daily basis. How did you gain the courage to seek help? With the shame (that you took on which you shouldn’t have) how did you manage to keep going? What advice would you give women or anyone in general in regards to getting help?
CHELSEA: I gained the courage to seek help by knowing I couldn’t do this alone. I didn’t need man I needed God and being a firm believer before depression I knew that was my source. I advise people to know their source and pay attention to their symptoms. There are 2 ways to get help and that’s seeking therapy and seeking God!
ME: Not relying on the medicine and relying on God takes A LOT of faith! I commend you on that. Some people never get to a point that they see there’s no shame in seeking help. What advice would you give some who is wrestling with themselves about getting help?
Chelsea: If there is anyone wrestling about getting help I’d recommend that you pray hard and trust God omg with seeking help as far as medicine I’m not really sure because it works for some and not for others. Personally I didn’t enjoy reading that it could cause thoughts of suicide so that scared me away a little. Seeking God is most important.
ME: How did your depression affect the way you were in your relationships(friendships and love life)? How did it affect the start of your business?
CHELSEA: Depression affected my friendships because I was distant or angry and they wouldn’t know why and I wouldn’t tell them why and it just ended up making me sadder, easily angered or give up. As far as my relationship it was tough because he had no idea what was really going through my mind, he didn’t understand my constant crying nor me not being able to change these feelings. No one really understands depression until they go through it. Depression didn’t affect the start of my business but it did affect my process because I wouldn’t want to work on materials to promote my business.
ME: Where would you say you are on your self-love journey? What did it take to get you there? What was your breaking point? The point that made you get on track with loving yourself.
Chelsea: On my self-love journey I’m at the point of accepting myself and life just as it is and knowing that I have the power to change it and with time I will change it. My breaking point was my constant sadness, my sensitivity to anything and everything going on and that people said. I walked past my mirror one day and looked at myself. I had changed so much just in the way I look alone. That girl wasn’t me. I didn’t like that.
ME: Knowing you, you’re more of an introvert. How did you work up the courage to get your business started? Was it hard getting going? How did you know God was calling you to create ToddFash? Do you have any advice for other women who may have business ideas that they may be struggling to get going?
CHELSEA: I was in church one Sunday and pastor spoke about doing what God has called you to do. He said you’d feel it when you started doing it. I prayed about it and I kept wondering “what did God call me to do” then last February I suddenly felt the urge to cater to kids. I’ve always been really creative but never utilized my talents. I thought about what kids like and my thoughts just came through and that’s how I came up with ToddFash. The hardest part about getting my business going was letting go of my money to do so. Lol once I popped my hand and let go of the money I began to excel. My advice to others would be do NOT be scared and utilize ALL of your talent! Invest in YOURSELF!
ME: What is one thing you want people to take from your story? What words of encouragement do you have for the next Queen trying to push through?
Chelsea: For anyone trying to push through Remember the other side is always near! The dark space you are in won’t last forever as long YOU take control of your life! Pray and look yourself in the mirror everyday and remind yourself of your strength and capabilities. Getting through depression is tough but once you are past it, you get to take your crown back and show your strength again!
Wasn’t that a good word? More times than not people are faced with depression. Somewhere down the line we were made to believe that we shouldn’t seek help, that we don’t need it. Sis, the truth is… sometimes you do. AND THAT’S OK! The first step to being healed is recognizing that there’s a part of you that needs healing. I’m thankful that God placed this word on Chelsea’s heart to share with the BRIGGade.
I’ve come in contact with several people who have been through a season of depression and I’m thankful that God placed me in a position to be able to assist his people. Ladies, Gents, and BRIGGade! Don’t be afraid of what people think. If you need help GET HELP! If you don’t know where to start, start with GOD, and remember it’s ok to seek help!
If you need help don’t be afraid to ask!
Now Chelsea’s main focus was the word that God sent to her to share but if you have children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, Godchildren etc… don’t forget to check out her business ToddFash for all of the cutest bows, bow-ties, art and more! These items will make great gifts! She can be found on Instagram @ToddFash.