A month or so ago I recall being in a tough spot. Overwhelmed with emotions and mentally exhausted. I remember thinking to myself “I may never recover from this.” Today I thought back to that very statement. Like how dare I say such a thing? When this thing that was designed to take me out, is the exact thing God planned to use, to push me to a greater level.
The very thing that I thought I’d never recover from is the very thing that helped me become more aware that I too need self-care. I too needed space, grace, and time to feel and heal. I too needed a safe space to deal with the hurt caused by others. Hurts caused by me allowing myself to be put in a box that I didn’t belong in. That I too needed the real self-care: Healing.
How did I push self-care on many women, helping them to realize that they too needed to do for them but I failed to do for me? How could I show up for everyone else and not show up for me? How could I continue to pour from a cup that seemingly was full but the reality was it only had a drop in it?
My realization of my need for self-care/healing was humbling. It’s like my inner self had to step in like:
“AHT, AHT, Remember who you are, whose you are and do the work!”
In an age of social media, everyone’s self-care journey looks perfect. People get to choose what they show the world and very rarely are they open about what really goes on before the flash. How in real life, self-care is a constant journey. More times than not this journey is hard because it starts with healing.
Healing the holes that people can’t see. The parts of you that only God knows about. Healing wounds that you couldn’t control, and healing the ones you could’ve. Healing all around in every aspect of the word.
I saw someone discredit another woman on her journey because it didn’t look how they thought it should. More or less because she wasn’t who they thought she should be. And that made me notice that there are some women who will do anything to see another woman fail. Especially if they think, it makes them look better. And really I guess that’s people in general but either way
THAT’S NOT GOOD!
When will my sisters wake up and realize that we can all be great together? As a woman who wants to be able to support and encourage other women from different walks of life, I can’t bring myself to accept women/people who make it their mission to bring down other women/people.
Every day I fight for the women who are struggling to heal, the women who can’t find the strength to take the next step, the women who have forgotten whose they are. These are the women that I will continue to be obedient for. For I know these are the women who are depending on me to push through, show and prove that this journey can be mastered.
2019 is very personal for me. I don’t take my healing lightly and will do anything to make sure I’m taking care of me.
God’s calling on my life will require me to be whole. Not to be confused with perfect, just whole in Him. My journey so far has been been ugly and beautiful at the same time.
Pressing more into his presence to receive what I need.
BRIGGade, my prayer for you and anyone who is going on or in the midst of a healing journey, is that you will open your heart to what God is trying to do. Remember that He has to do a work in you before He can do a work through you. Give yourself grace and space to heal. Healing isn’t an overnight process. Press in a little harder each day and get what you need.
A Late twenty something, Mother of two. Following a King.